Finding love is difficult no matter who you are, what you do, how you look, or where you live. We all have unique backgrounds, personality traits, and life circumstances that impact the ease or difficulty we have when it comes to finding and maintaining romantic relationships. One thing is for certain: If you are single and in search of a partner, you will not succeed in this day and age unless you put forth a great deal of effort. Contrary to popular belief, love is not impossible to find. If you feel that you are alone because there are no single men or women left within a particular age range, or that there is a lack of individuals who measure up to your standards, you are mistaken. Success comes to those who work for it. You do not become the President of the US unless you work hard to get there, and Mr./Ms. Right will not magically show up at your doorstep unless you don't put in the effort to get him/her there.
Some believe love is even more difficult to find in an urban area such as New York City, because it is a place that is occupied with people who are materialistic and obsessed with consumerism. Indeed, nearly every aspect of the culture revolves around buying goods and services. Finding love is no exception. New Yorkers don't work at making their love last; they try to buy it. Just consider how commercialized Valentine's Day has become. It seems that this holiday has become more about declaring your love with the best Hallmark card and the biggest diamonds than simply showing the person you love how much you really care.
There is a huge market for self-help books and literature based on love and relationships. Some promise to offer you a solution to find a husband fast, while others give advice on being single or focus on the "rules" that we can all use to attract a partner. These books promise to get you the love of your life, but ask you to pay a price for it first. Many online websites are essentially doing the same thing. It has been said that you can't buy love, but money does seem to quicken the process. Just look at all the personal ads in which people, particularly men, write of the money that they cab bring to the table. Many women are lured in by the riches, believing that they are more likely to fall in love with a man who can buy them expensive gifts and treat them to a luxurious lifestyle. With this consumer mentality, we acknowledge the importance of money in our love lives. We try to grab love fast and make it ours to own.
The basic assumption behind such behavior is that that getting what we desire will make us happy. Money will not make love last. If people get married without loving each other, there marriages are more like fifty-fifty partnerships than relationships. Such an approach towards marriage, often has lacks warmth and mean, making a marriage look like a business instead of love. It can be discouraging to believe in the existence of real love when you see such superficial relationships all around you.
Finding love is a huge challenge in a city of people who subscribe to a "shopping" mentality. It may be hard to find people who are focused on companionship and intimacy instead of bank accounts in such a place. Without a doubt, there are plenty of people out there interested in getting involved in a relationship without selfish and manipulative people. They don't all expect money, a sense of security or a higher status out of your partner. There are plenty of people looking for an intimate loving relationship. You just have to work hard to find them.
But, if you want somebody to be with you always and understand the fact that mere shopping would not, get you there, you are ready to love somebody without any selfish reasons and are truly looking for love. Do not sit idle in hope that true love will knock your door one day and embrace you with full warmth and happiness. Start realizing your needs, thoughts, work hard for it and get ready to reap the rewards your hard work.
About The Author:
Rebecca Benjamin is a Professional matchmaker and trained Social Worker for the online Jewish dating site JRetroMatch. She is excited to help you find your match! For free sign up:
http://www.JRetroMatch.com
